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April 7, 2016

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The Fun Elemental: Cutthroat Combo + Boom/Bust in a Jar

The community has banded together and collected the clues. They’ve worked tirelessly to decode the puzzles and unmask the source of the Shadows Over Innistrad. Who could it possibly be: Emrakul? Marit Lage? The Flying Spaghetti Monster? Not even close. It’s something much more powerful, dangerous, and awesome and it has finally broke free of it’s confines to rain mandatory fun upon the unwilling.

IT IS I, THE FUN ELEMENTAL.

Nahiri, the Harbinger was able awaken me and I have arisen, spewing venomous, lethal fun across the land. I’ve corrupted countless inhabitants of Innistrad with fun little extra mouths and eyes scattered across their bodies.

The accumulated mutants will look up and shout “Save us!” And I’ll look down and whisper: “Fun.”

A quick disclaimer: although all my decks are certified guaranteed fun, I cannot promise that you’ll be able to win with any sort of regularity. These fun little brews are strictly “Play at your Own Risk”

Now come forth, my child, to receive your daily recommended dose of Vitamin Fun.

Cutthroat Combo

Creatures (27)
Beastcaller Savant
Brood Monitor
Eldrazi Displacer
Elvish Visionary
Kalastria Healer
Nantuko Husk
Zulaport Cutthroat

Spells (7)
Eerie Interlude
Evolutionary Leap
March from the Tomb

Lands (26)
Canopy Vista
Caves of Koilos
Evolving Wilds
Forest
Hissing Quagmire
Llanowar Wastes
Plains
Shambling Vent
Swamp
Warped Landscape
Westvale Abbey

The combination of Eldrazi Displacer and Brood Monitor is a very interesting pairing in Standard. I wonder if Shadows can breathe new life into the concept. With Displacer and Monitor you can spend one colourless mana to net an Eldrazi Scion or you can just sacrifice the three scions to blink Brood Monitor infinitely. Our old friend Zulaport Cutthroat can assist with all the life drain you need to end the game. Since Cutthroat happens to be an Ally, what happens when you add in Kalastria Healer and March from the Tomb? Good times is what.

The mana is stretched pretty thin as you need to be three colours and then colourless to activate the Displacer as well, which is similar to playing four colours. Our pay off might just be worth it though, that’s a whole lot of combos! See if you can spot them all. The clues are there.

Card Analysis:

  • Elvish Visionary – This fine fellow is like the glue that holds the deck together. He makes sure everything flows nicely. Cast him! Blink him! Sac him! You’ll never be disappointed.
  • Beastcaller Savant – He fixes your mana and ramps you into creatures and he’s an Ally to boot. Time for this fellow to shine.
  • Zulaport Cutthroat – A fine Ally finisher as we’ve seen from Rally the Ancestors. Sacrifice all your creatures to finish your opponent off.
  • Kalastria Healer – A game winning combo with both March from the Tomb and Eerie Interlude.
  • Eldrazi Displacer – Blink your own creature for more Comes into the Battlefield triggers and don’t forget you can also use him to tap down your opponents creatures.
  • Nantuko Husk – The best way to eat up all your creatures for Zulaport triggers or to fill the graveyard for a big March.
  • Brood Monitor – This is it. The big one. Show your opponent you mean business.
  • Evolutionary Leap – This card is fantastic and it does a little bit of everything for you. It keeps the gas flowing while acting as a sacrifice outlet and a way to get allies into the graveyard.
  • March from the Tomb – Rally the Ancestors has left us so this is our replacement. Bringing back four Kalistria Healers triggers each one four times for a total drain of 4 x 4 = 16 points. Yum.
  • Eerie Interlude – Can preform the same trick with four Healers that are in play. This one has no maximum amount of targets so you can possibly assemble more than 20 points of drain in some scenarios.
  • Westvale Abbey – This deck is full of creatures so it shouldn’t be very difficult to have enough to transform it and win the game. It also adds colourless mana to activate Eldrazi Displacer.

After brewing up such a snazzy masterpiece I feel compelled to continue my authoritarian reign of maximum fun. The Glaring Spotlight of my attention now turns slowly to rest upon a new Shadows Over Innistrad card: Brain In A Jar. Mmm, brains. This reminds me very much of Aether Vial for spells and I wonder how we can open up the jar and drain every drop and tittle of fun directly into our massive maw?

It turns out that due to the rules, when you use Brain in a Jar to cast a split card – say for example, Boom|Bust – you can have two charge counters for the Boom but then SURPRISE! You can Bust out and old school Armageddon for fun. This takes us to the Modern format, just in time to take advantage of the Eldrazi ban.

There is no doubt that a deck based around such a glorious interaction should be called Boom|Bust in a Jar. What does it mean? No one knows, but it’s exciting. It gets the people GOING!

Check it:

Boom/Bust in a Jar

Artifacts (15)
Brain in a Jar
Elixir of Immortality
Serum Visions
Temple Bell
Voltaic Key

Spells (17)
Boom//Bust
Cryptic Command
Part the Waterveil
Temporal Mastery
Time Warp

Planeswalkers (4)
Ral Zarek

Lands (24)
Darksteel Citadel
Desolate Lighthouse
Flooded Strand
Island
Mountain
Scalding Tarn
Steam Vents
Wandering Fumarole

Card Analysis:

  • Elixir of Immortality – Your back-up win condition just in case you draw your entire deck.
  • Voltaic Key – Super charge your Brain in a Jar or nab another draw off of Temple Bell.
  • Brain in a Jar – You can use this to cast a Bust and destroy all lands with only two charge counters on the Jar. You can also use it to cast Time Warp effects after all lands have been destroyed to pull back ahead.
  • Temple Bell – In conjunction with your Time Warps this will keep drawing you more gas. I’ve chosen this version because of the option untapping it with Ral Zarek and Voltaic Key.
  • Serum Visions – Your old friend that just helps you play magic cards in a reasonable fashion.
  • Boom|Bust – Cheating Armaggedon on to the stack while you have an active Brain should win you the game.
  • Cryptic Command – This powerhouse can do it all. Mr. Jar Brain approves.
  • Time Warp – A powerful spell to use in conjunction with your brain.
  • Temporal Mastery – Sometimes you can miracle it and get the powerful boost you need to steal the game.
  • Part the Waterveil – An added win condition, or just another Time Warp. Awakening a Darksteel Citadel or Wandering Fumarole is a powerful play.
  • Ral Zarek – Can untap Brain in a Jar or Temple Bell. Can also ultimate for some added turns, not to mention his lightning bolt impersonation. A perfect fit for the deck.

Thank you, my disciples of fun. My fun stores have been completely expended and I can go back to rest in the brain that has borne me thus far. But beware if I ever feel the itch I shall return and unleash another lethal torrent of fun upon all those who oppose me.